JAKARTA — On Tuesday, October 15, 2024, Dompet Dhuafa held a DIKSIKU (Book Content Discussion) True Love Syar’i by Prof. Dr. H Muhammad Amin Suma, SH, MA, MM, at the Philanthropy Building Lobby, South Jakarta. This book tells the story of the 41-year household journey of Prof. Amin Suma and his wife, Kholiyah, along with their 13 children. The inspirational story of this couple who is familiarly called MAS KHOL has become a motivation for many young couples who are and will be on the path of #RumahkuSurgaku.
In the discussion, Prof. Amin shared his views on this book. He emphasized the importance of other people’s perspectives in assessing a story. Thus, this book is not only a personal story, but also a more objective reflection.
The Professor of Sharia FSH UIN Syarif Hidayatullah Jakarta said, “Hopefully, so that this book does not only appear from my mouth, I ask for comments from other people who know about the conditions of our family life. Starting from students, neighbors, who at that time we were still contractors (living in rented houses)”.
With so many comments, she hopes that this book can be objectively recognized by many people, not just based on the author’s own flawed views. This is because he wants his book to be truly worthy of inspiring and motivating others, just like the reason he started writing it.
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Furthermore, the response session was guided by Asep Sapaat, GM SDI and General Dompet Dhuafa. He explained that in the book Cinta Sejati Syar’i, Dompet Dhuafa’s Sharia Supervisory Board tells how he maintains the nature of love with the opposite sex while still managing it according to sharia, which of course is the result of his parents’ upbringing. Prof Amin and Kholiyah have known each other since childhood until they joined the Banten Student Association organization, where Prof Amin served as chairman and Kholiyah as secretary.
“I think his marriage journey will never be the same as ours. But the principles that we can indeed take lessons from,” he explained.
In this book, Prof. Amin conveys seven principles of fostering and building households to get true love:
- It is better to have proof without promise than promise without proof.
- Exemplary through action.
- Build intensive and quality communication.
- Recognizing mistakes objectively and sportingly.
- Giving appreciation and support for children’s achievements.
- Making family gatherings as a means of maintaining brotherhood.
- Pray sincerely, specifically, and with focus.
According to Asep, the 797-page book with ISBN 978-602-8100-19-9 can be read in 30-60 minutes, especially if you focus on the main parts. The rest of the book contains concrete examples of how he built the formation, maintenance, gratitude, and enjoyment of the KHOLAM FAMILY until now.
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Prof. Amin consistently uses terms such as building, nurturing and being grateful in his book, which is spread across many pages. He also asks Allah to keep him away from the attitude of ujub, believing that many other families are more successful. For him, this book is an expression of gratitude to Allah for the knowledge gained from a long journey of building a household.
Asep then emphasizes that the principles drawn from his experience can be valuable lessons even though his marriage journey is different from others. Prof. Amin, an academic, wrote this book with a scientific approach, including definitions, concepts, quotes, references from the Qur’an, Sunnah, laws, and scientific studies.
When reading this book, readers are advised to do so with full attention and reflection, as there is much knowledge to be gained on how to find a true partner and build a strong relationship.
“From the beginning of reading, I remembered and imagined my parents’ marriage. reading this book does not seem suitable for speed reading. It should be read solemnly while contemplating. There is a lot of knowledge here about how to find a true partner. Then if you have found it, how to build it,” said Asep.
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Prof. Amin chose to build love, not just fall in love. As the leader of the family, he prioritizes divine values and the laws of the country, with the principle that his daughters should marry at the age of 21 and no later than 25. In terms of other sharia, MAS and KHOL strongly adhere to the Islamic requirement of breastfeeding children for at least two years. Prof. Amin explicitly said that none of his 13 children were deprived of breast milk for less than two years.
The MAS KHOL family is an example of a family built on the value of education, where Mrs. Kholiyah works as a teacher. Although Prof. Amin never imposed his will on his children, he emphasized the importance of education. Today, of his 11 surviving children, two have earned bachelor’s degrees, seven have master’s degrees, and two are still pursuing undergraduate degrees, in various fields of study.
His children and in-laws include a general practitioner, two specialists, four economics graduates, one psychology graduate, one chemistry graduate, two computer science graduates, two informatics graduates, one international relations graduate, and one law graduate. Only one of them followed Prof. Amin’s footsteps in law, showing that he values his children’s educational choices. (Dompet Dhuafa)
Text and photo: Riza Muthohar
Editor: Dhika