The culture of gotong royong is very close to Indonesian society. This habit of doing one thing together is well preserved. This is evidenced by the fact that many people still do rewang or help each other in celebration events, including weddings. In fact, not only contributing labor, people also contribute materially through envelopes given as wedding gifts.
However, the giving of wedding gift envelopes for certain community groups is interpreted as a debt that must be paid. This has even become an unwritten tradition in several regions in Indonesia. So, what is the Islamic view on this practice of giving envelopes for wedding gifts? Should it be considered a debt or should it be a charity as a sign of our happiness?
Envelopes for Wedding Gifts
Attending a wedding reception (walimatul ‘urs) is obligatory in Islam. As long as there is no Shari’ah impediment, the person who receives an invitation to attend walimatul ‘urs must attend. This is in accordance with what the Prophet Muhammad said:
“If one of you is invited to a walimah, then he should attend it.” (HR. Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Daud)
During a wedding, usually someone will bring a wedding gift and the most common gift given is an envelope containing money. This is evident from the availability of money boxes at every wedding reception. However, the intention behind giving the envelope can vary. One of them is that the giver expects a return when he holds a walimah in the future. So, can we get used to this?
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Scholars’ Opinion
Before judging the culture of giving envelopes for wedding gifts as a practice of borrowing or social debt is right or wrong, we need to look at several things first. Quoting the statement of Dr. Oni Sahroni, Lc, MA as a Member of the MUI National Sharia Council, there are four things that we must know before declaring the tradition right or wrong, including:
Clarify the envelope giver’s intention
Does the person attending the invitation and giving the envelope intend to give alms as a sign that they are happy with the wedding? Or does he intend to give a loan which then becomes a debt for the person getting married as part of the tradition in the community?
Make sure the tradition prevails in the community
Some villages in Indonesia have a tradition where people who hold a celebration and get a wedding gift in the form of an envelope containing money, automatically the money becomes a loan or debt that must be paid by the celebration organizer when the envelope giver holds a celebration at a later date.
In contrast, the tradition in urban areas is for everyone who attends a wedding invitation to give a sum of money or goods as alms or grants, not debts and credits. Therefore, the gift is not obliged to be returned to the giver.
Although unspoken and unwritten, this tradition is binding. So, we need to ascertain whether this tradition applies in the neighborhood or not. This can be applied as the fiqh rule that states, “Something that has become a tradition (‘urf) is like a requirement”. This means that something that has become a habit and tradition in society becomes a requirement that must be fulfilled.
The etiquette of attending a walimah invitation
Every Muslim has an obligation to respond to invitations, including rejoicing in the marriage of a relative. The expression of happiness varies, one of which is giving an envelope containing a sum of money for a wedding gift as a favor or the like.
Giving an envelope to the person holding the celebration is in principle an ordinary gift, alms or grant, not debt and credit. Unless there is a tradition to the contrary, then it is recorded as a loan. Because it is a loan, it must be repaid in accordance with the principal of the loan without the condition of excess or benefit, because it has the status of a social transaction loan.
This is as Allah Swt says in surah Al-Baqarah verse 282:
“O you who believe, when you do business not in cash for a fixed time, write it down. And let a writer among you write it down correctly.”
Consider the legal aspects
Consider the legal aspects of the country you live in according to the position of the person holding the celebration. For example, the provisions of gratuities and the like. Is it permissible to accept a certain amount of money? So, it is not considered as a debt that must be paid at a later date in another form. This needs to be considered so that the sharia and legal aspects can be fulfilled hand in hand.
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The Ruling on Giving Wedding Gifts
There is a difference of opinion among scholars about the ruling on giving envelopes for wedding gifts. Some scholars categorize giving wedding gifts as a debt that must be paid. While some other scholars categorize the giving of wedding gifts as a free gift.
The scholars then looked for common ground and combined the two opinions to conclude that the status of this wedding gift is considered a free gift or grant, if the prevailing custom in the community does not require the gift to be returned. In other words, the ruling may vary according to the traditions of the community.
A gift is stipulated as a debt if there is a tradition in the area to return it. In the event that the practice of giving is different from the custom, it will depend on the intention of the giver.
Different Intentions of Giving a Wedding Gift
According to Rasyid S in the book Fiqh Islam, there are four purposes and objectives of giving a wedding gift in the form of an envelope containing money. Among others:
- Hibah, which is giving goods sincerely or voluntarily, there is no exchange and no cause.
- Sadaqah, which is giving goods with no exchange for expecting rewards in the hereafter.
- Gift, which is giving something sincerely without expecting anything in return and brought to the place where it is given because it wants to honor it.
- ‘Ariyah, which is borrowing, giving something lawful to another to benefit from without damaging the substance so that it can be returned.
Hopefully the above explanation can answer the curiosity of Sahabat Dompet Dhuafa about the law of giving envelopes for wedding gifts. In addition to joining in the joy of relatives or relatives who have just had a wedding, we can also bring happiness to people in need. Including orphans and the poor. You can channel your best alms through Dompet Dhuafa to make those less fortunate happy. May the things we do be blessed by Allah Swt. Aamiin … (RQA)
