JAKARTA — Prof. Dr. H Muhammad Amin Suma, SH, a figure known for his deep thoughts on Islam, shared his experiences and insights in a study entitled “Berserah Bukan Menyerah” at Balai Sarwono, South Jakarta, Saturday (31/08/2024). This study reviewed a book that he had just launched, namely a book entitled True Love Shar’i: 41 Years of Mas & Khol’s Marriage. This discussion also attracted the attention of many people, especially for those who want to build a happy and harmonious household.
Through his presentation, Amin Suma not only shared stories about his success in building a household, but also provided practical tips that can be applied by every family.
In his study, the Professor of Sharia FSH UIN Syarif Hidayatullah Jakarta openly shared his journey in building a household. He does not hesitate to share stories about the various challenges he has faced, ranging from character differences with his partner, economic problems, to conflicts with children. However, behind every challenge, Amin always finds solutions and lessons learned. He also emphasizes the importance of mutual understanding, open communication, and faith in facing trials.
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As an expert in Islamic fiqh, Amin tucked many religious values into his presentation. He recounted how religious teachings have guided him through his home life. He also shared how he and his partner, Mrs. Kholiyah, have been committed to supporting and loving each other since the beginning of their marriage.
One of the important points that Amin emphasized was the importance of spending quality time with family. He shared how he and his family always try to set aside time in the midst of their busy schedules to do activities together, such as having dinner together, going on vacation, or just chatting casually. According to him, these moments of togetherness will become beautiful memories and strengthen family bonds.
The member of Dompet Dhuafa’s Sharia Supervisory Board highlighted several important aspects in building a harmonious family. He gave three practical keys that can be applied by every family, among others:
First, of course, intend marriage for worship. A sincere intention to seek the pleasure of Allah SWT is the main foundation in building a happy and lasting marriage. With this intention, married couples will always try to carry out Allah’s commands and stay away from His prohibitions.
“What about those who are already married? Yes, renew the intention, not renew the marriage,” said the man who has 11 children in a joking tone.
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The second is open and honest communication. This can be done by listening to each other attentively, avoiding cornered communication, creating a safe atmosphere to tell each other, and prioritizing problem solving over blaming.
“Of course, communicating with your partner and children is different. If it’s with your partner, keep it short but frequent. Just ‘mom, papa is here, I’ll be home soon’. That’s enough, the important thing is to tell them often. Now, with children, it’s the opposite. Don’t call often. But once you call, find the most comfortable time and you can discuss many things,” she said, explaining tips for communicating with family over the phone.
Then thirdly, there is no need to make promises. A mature relationship should be one that is built on a foundation of mutual understanding, respect, and commitment. By building a mature relationship, couples can feel deeper happiness and satisfaction in life.
Prof. Amin Suma’s study on harmonious families is very relevant to current conditions characterized by high levels of stress and lifestyle changes. In the digital age, where social interactions are increasingly conducted through electronic devices, people often forget the importance of quality face-to-face communication within the family. Prof. Amin’s teaching on “Surrender Not Give Up” gave the study participants an understanding that in facing life’s challenges, families must support and strengthen each other. In addition, the most important thing is to involve God in all matters.
More details, the material of this study, as well as the story and our family couple Amin Suma and Kholiyah can be absorbed in the book True Love Syar’i, ISBN 978-602-8100-19-9. (Dompet Dhuafa)
Text and photo: Riza Muthohar
Editor: Dhika Prabowo